There is a certain haze in the sky. But the mood of the crowd, who have come here to listen to the supreme leader is ecstatic. The Messiah was known for his incredible vocabulary. Once he executed an illiterate (as claimed by the state media) for writing his name as Kim Jong Wun. He entered the stage waving his 'Hand of God'. The crowd ruptured, probably thanking him for the extreme poverty that gripped the nation. The masses were enthralled through stunning applications of the word nuclear power.The commander stated, " The Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea is the only socialist and democratic nation in the world where freedom and equality are synonymous with the common man". The crowd couldn't agree more. He continued "our country has 100% employment and that too in the greatest sector since the inception of humankind, in the nuclear industry. Can the Americans do that?" , he thundered. A resounding no swept the arena. "Our education system is unparalleled.
From the day a child is born in this holy land, he is exposed to working in uranium factories thus learning practical knowledge." The crowd agreed. Losing their children to radioactivity was a small price to pay for the hands-on experience. "Hail the Supreme Leader." The speech ended with the video of Kim: the brave man fighting a tiger and killing him with his bare hands and then ripping off his shirt showing his 16 pack abs, the newest addition to bodybuilding.
There was a certain charm associated with the man. Kim Jong Un was a very religious man, i.e., he never missed his morning whisky, mid-day tequila and day ending vodka. He was famous for his skills in bed and had impressed many people (men or woman, people still are in doubt on that question). "Truly the man lived the life of a saint" the followers of KOoL ( Kim Our Only God) proudly said. KOoL, the only religion in the north had united the people of the nation, galvanising them to believe that whosoever was born in this good land did not need a heaven cause they were already experiencing it. The KiDS ( Kim infantry and defence services) was responsible for protecting the mainland from Souths sleuths. The KISS ( Kim's Intelligent secret services) was used to keep enemies in check. These associations were the mastermind of who else but Kim.
But on the morning of the 15th august when the south was celebrating their so-called Independence day, a stunning news feed came from across the pacific which was a very disturbing one for the sexiest man alive on the earth. The USA had urged south and north to hold peace talks for the sake of humanity, and they had granted North Korea to join the UN, unconditionally. He called his uncle his most trusted minister who for the first time in his life out of sheer excitement expressed his honest opinion: the proposal should be accepted. This was unacceptable to Kim. The idea of peace was as absurd to him as the alternating current was to Thomas Edison.
In his rage, Kim declared that the defence minister, "being incapable of finding the correct solution was to be fired". And fired he was not only from his job but also from his earthly body by the KiDS soldiers. He then turned to his aunt, an expert on foreign policy issues and termed by Kim's father as the "entity responsible for keeping North Korea free from foreign influence". The word "influence" had a strict restriction to "ideas" because everything from her dresses to her wine was "all American". As Kim was approaching her aunts six storied apartment, he realised that housing was not a problem in the nation. While some people lived in luxurious bungalows, others made their "homes" on the roadside. The aunt, after deliberating over the problem for 15 seconds found a simple solution. She asked Kim to accept the proposal, go to the UN General, Bombard it and then by proclaiming himself as the only world leader earn the applause of other world leaders (of course their souls). Kim thought the idea sounded as delicious, as his favourite swiss cheese.
Our Republic is a responsible nuclear state. As we made it clear before, we will not use nuclear weapons first unless aggressive hostile forces use nuclear weapons to invade our sovereignty.
The flight was due in 3 hours. Kim had accepted the proposal. Though people were surprised, they celebrated the "immensely calculated and impressive decision of their shining sun". It was the first time in the history of the world i.e. in 104 years that a north Korean would be meeting an American at an official meeting. But Kim was too excited to sleep. He had called his best friend: the American basketball player Dennis Rodman, though not disclosing his plan.
The secret was now eating him up and in his curiosity, Kim inspected the bomb made by none other than the USA. On seeing the TRI button, he pressed it and within 10 seconds his house including his great body blew up. The bomb had exploded. The genius leader had mistaken the " Trigger" button for the "Trial" one. The DPRK was in a state of mourning. The star had left but he had left his spark. Kim's 5-year-old son had issued a statement that "whosoever is not in the state of mourning would be executed. The United States would be severely punished for killing our supreme leader. They would not be spared. We will "nuclify" them. My father sacrificed his life for the nation".
It was clear that the boy had inherited the Supergenes of his father and would take the country forward. And so the "sacrifice" of Kim Jong Un had not been a waste.